Midday Whiny, Cold-Induced, Pre-Period Post

Well, the title pretty much explains it all.

Sometimes...
my heart is growing cold to you. Not because I love you less, but perhaps because I love you more. As time goes on the slights you dealt me become magnified rather than diminished. I cannot believe some of the things you have done to me, and all without even a second thought.

my heart is on fire for you. The breadth of the entire country disappears, and it is like you are here, holding my hands, looking in my eyes, listening to me, really listening, being with me. The past hurts don't matter, only the prospect of seeing you, touching you, feeling you again. The future is what matters. I want you to see me again. I want you to be proud of me again. I want you, again, here (or there, it really doesn't matter) with me.

I hope that one day it will be constant, hot or cold, not flickering. Flickering, glimpses, moments are comfortable for you, but I hate it. I want you to love me all of the time, constantly. I don't want to matter the world to you one moment and then matter less than someone you met drunk in a bar and don't even really remember, the next moment. I don't ever want any random girl with fat ankles to be the right person for you to share a Thursday evening with rather than me. I am so hurt by that. I wish you knew how much.